Dating online can be a minefield. Seriously. And anyone who has done it for any period of time can tell you their fair share of stories about crazy people online.

Ok so that is what this blog post is about.

What this blog post is not about is painting online dating as something that losers do, a sin, or too dangerous for anyone to engage in so no one should date online. None of that is true, so I’d never write a blog to discourage people from dating online.

The reality is that somewhere around 30% of recent marriages have started with people meeting online. I have lost count of the friends that I have who married great people who they met on Twitter, Facebook, and online dating sites.

Online dating used to be super taboo and frowned upon, especially in Christian circles. Now with all the new technology and information that is out there, it has become a normalized part of dating behavior. For me, it has been the best option for my hectic life and travel schedule.

Below are a few lists of crazy behaviors by category, that myself, some good friends, and some of my Facebook friends have experienced while dating online.

Have a good laugh, enjoy sharing our crazy online dating experiences, and be mindful while dating online!

Bible Thumping Wackadoos

1. For my Christian peeps: Is a part of a cult (Black Hebrew Israelite, Hoteps, JWs etc) and goes off on you when you share the Gospel.

2. The Al Sharpton “over spiritualizers” and the Jesse Jackson “ten dollar word dudes” who try entirely too hard.

3. Clearly states on their profile that they are Christian but when you bring it up starts acting like an agnostic trying to debate you about the historicity, authenticity, and accuracy of the Bible.

 

Foul on the DM Sliding Play

1. The person DMs you and keeps having a full on conversation with him/herself when you don’t reply.

2. Cusses you SLAM out for not replying, or not replying quick enough. (Like “YO MAMA” cusses you out)

3. Ghosts you and then pops back up in your DMs several times, like you don’t know they were off chasing the “Bigger Better Deal.”

4. Changes their pic and profile name and tries to DM again like you’re blind or just dumb.4

 

A Picture is Worth Valuable Insight

1. Demands more pics from you, like they don’t see the TEN already on your profile. (What you want? A blood sample?)

2. Has pics with him/her and their exes (maybe they aren’t exes?) posted up at the club with drinks etc. (can you say, “dumb.com?”)

3. Has crazy profile pics period IE. A grown man laying in the bath tub covered in bubbles. Or pics of them in bed with dingy linens. (Where they do that at?)

4. Men/Women who feature their children in the profile pics/narrative like they are props. The interwebs are crazy, why put your babies out there trying to score a date?

 

Profile Narrative Horror Stories

1. Has bitter rants in their profile narrative.

2. A person who is going off on all of their exes in their profile narrative.

3. Has a long list of things you shouldn’t be if you message him/her.

4. Has a bonafide threat for anyone who messages them and doesn’t intend to meet them soon thereafter. (why can’t folks be easy… just let it happen)

 

Various Sundry Crazy Train Online Dating Moves

1. Sends you a 9 minute private Youtube video nastiogram to chew you out for dissing him/her. (don’t ask)

2. Gets mad if he/she discovers you gave them a Google Voice number instead of your real number.

3. When you give them your phone number and they start texting calling non-stop, basically stalking you.

4. Men who gaslight you when you call them on trying to push boundaries. IE Trying to change the topic to sex and then calling you childish because you call them on it.

5. People who hop in your DMs trying to break the law: trying to score weed, the fraudsters asking for money for the sick relative, or sex workers looking for their next John/Jane.

6. Follows you to several dating sites like you’ll eventually change your mind about them. (Come on son? Stop it.)

 

Be sure to hit the comments with any additional thoughts and/or experiences! Thanks for stopping by!